URGHH

O.M.G I am epically retarded, I can't walk past tosser without turning a bright shade of red, I even went red driving past him in the car on the way to my bus stop, WTF is that all about??
Anyway so I got out the car and Alex called me over so I went to her and gave her a hug then I saw tosser was looking at me and instantly went red and pulled away. Then I got on the bus and sat with Ellie who was sitting infront of tosser and I basically spent half an hour talking all high pitched and squeaky because Im such a fucking weirdo!! Oh yeah AND I turned round and stared OPEN FUCKING MOUTHED at tosser for at leaste a minute, he looked at me like I was some sort of looney(which ofcourse I am) ;'(
Got off the bus and had a bone crushing hug off Abi then went into school and saw Tosser again which made me feel sick, and then went to form...
Lunch Time was torture, was sitting on the table with Lucy,Lauren, Cerys and Kate when I spotted Tosser lining up to get lunch practically chocked on my crips and went red (what a shock!) and I think he saw me, then after about 10 minutes, who sits on the table opposit me? yeah thats right tosser, could of died there and then to be honest. Kate wasnt exactly sure WHO tosser was so she was going 'amy amy is that him' and pointed at some ginger fuck I wouldnt look at twice haaaa gotta love Kate!! so I had to go 'he's the one infront of use, eating a sandwich and in a hoodie type coat thing' :P was totally horrifying as he was sat with his girlfriend who I will call gingersnaps (she's ginger and pretty like the girl in my fave childhood book'GingerSnaps') and to be honest she makes me feel so gawd damn ugly and fat I just want to die! THEN I went back to the hall later cos Anna hadnt eaten, and I saw Tosser and GingerSnaps holding hands which made me wanna cry (which isnt like me cos it usually doesnt bother me when he gets a girlfriend, until now I suppose). After Anna had eaten he went through the hall and up the steps (where tosser normally hangs out) and tosser and GingerSnaps were practically entwined, which made me feel even worse.
Got on the bus and Ellie asked if I wanted to sit at the back to stay away from Tosser and ofcourse I said YEEEES but little did I know the seat she had picked was right infront of tosser, she thought it was hilarious, I did not. spent the whole journey getting redder and redder and I practicallly RAN off the bus, gawd I such a mong sometimes.
Im gonna either stare at tosser as much as I want and not care or try to stop looking at him which would be attempting the impossible. urgh Im a dick.